China, and torches, and cannibals…Oh my!

Allan and I will soon be leaving for Japan, and as we prepare for our adventure, it reminded me of another Asian trip we took years ago to China on a Wendy Wu tour, spending a month touring the country and seeing the sights. We had folks from the U.S. on the tour, as well as a few from England and Australia. Our guide, Candy, was excellent, and she spoke English fairly well.

During our orientation meeting after the welcome dinner, Candy laid out the itinerary and told us what we should expect weather-wise as we traversed from one side of China to the other, what the amazing sights we would be visiting were, what the food would be like, etc. She gave us the lowdown on the beds in the hotels (which were like sleeping on cement), and also on the “happy house”, (which were not too happy since they were merely a hole in the ground sans toilet paper).

Everyone was listening very carefully, and when Candy mentioned that some of the happy houses were a bit dark inside, one of the Brits on our tour exclaimed cheerfully, “Oh, no problem. We have our torches with us.”

Well, the look on Candy’s face was priceless. Her eyes opened wide in panic, and she began to shake her head rapidly. “No fire! No allowed! No safe!” she emphatically stated. We all started to laugh and then we reassured her that there’d be no blazing bonfires being started in the happy houses, since most of us knew the Brits were referring to their flashlights.

The next evening, we were chatting over glasses of beer with those same Brits, and one guy mentioned the pastas in their village. I said, “Oh, we love eating pastas. We try all different shapes and sizes. Allan favors the thin pastas, and I love the broad pastas. We eat them quite often!”

When we started talking about eating pastas, our English friends’ faces resembled Candy’s shocked expression when they had mentioned torches.

“What do you mean you eat pastas?” one Brit nervously queried while taking a step backward.

And then another Brit lowered his voice, also taking a step backward, and said in disbelief, “You eat the people who preside over the church services?”

And I swear, they all nonchalantly started looking for the exits.

It took me a minute to comprehend, and then I said, “You mean PASTORS?”

“What? No!” they emphatically said. “PASTAS!”

And then we all laughed.

But I’m sure for a nanosecond before the laughter, the Brits were surmising we might be cannibals. And in that same nanosecond, they were probably regretting the fact that their flashlights weren’t tiki torches, since those flames on a stick could have come in handy to fend us off had we started boiling water in a huge black cauldron and gotten out the salt and pepper.

Play Ball!


Did you ever notice how the catcher suggests to the pitcher what pitch he should throw and the pitcher stands on the mound and shakes his head ‘No’ for maybe three or four times until he finally agrees with the pitch the catcher suggests?

It reminds me of that Seinfeld scene when Kramer pretends to be the MoviePhone recording. Kramer finally out of sheer frustration finally says “Why don’t you just TELL me what movie you want to see!” since he has no idea what buttons the caller is pressing.

Mark my words. One of these days…a catcher is going to go ballistic, throw down his catcher’s mask, storm the mound and grab the bat out of the batter’s hand  shouting

“WHY DON’T YOU JUST TELL ME
WHAT FREAKIN’ PITCH YOU
WANT ME TO THROW!”

Hostess Cupcakes

When I was a kid in elementary school, once a week my grandma would give me a dime, and I would walk down to ‘Al’s’, the corner grocery store, to buy the twin package of Hostess cupcakes.  Al was a big burly guy with curly hair, who stood behind the counter and always said, “Guess you’re here for your cupcakes”, and I would shyly place my dime on the counter, and quickly leave with my treasure tucked safely in my hand.

Some kids when eating their cupcakes would peel the icing with the white squiggle off the top and eat that first, and then they would open the cupcake, scoop out the cream with their finger..and finish up by popping the chocolate cake into their mouths. I never did that. I preferred to take a bite of it all…icing, delicious rich cream center and soft moist cake…savoring each mouthful.

When I say I went to Al’s once a week…I mean EVERY week during the years that I went to P.S. 100.  By the time I entered the sixth grade, I was sure that one day Al would say to me, “You know what kid?  You’ve been buying these Hostess cupcakes for years now.  Today…they’re on me!”

I waited for that day to happen all through that sixth grade year of fractions, ancient Greece and book reports, before moving on to another school to attend junior high, but it never did.

Years later when I had children of my own, I bought a package of Hostess cupcakes to eat, (they were no longer a dime), filled with the anticipation of that little kid. Yikes!!! Hostess obviously changed the recipe, and took out all the wonderful ingredients that clogged arteries but tasted so good, because the cream was cloying, the cake was rubbery, and the icing tasted artificial.  I guess my palate was now a bit too sophisticated for long ago dime-store treats.  Yes, of course, I had aged.

Hostess…even though your cupcakes are probably more heart-healthy now, thanks for the memory of that delicious confection from years ago, enjoyed and anticipated each week by a little kid.

Skiing in Really Cute Outfits

I was in the doctor’s office the other day, reading Glamour Magazine and I came across an article entitled “Hey…It’s OK To Try A Sport Just For the Cute Gear!”

WOW! I totally agree…and I actually put it into practice many years ago when we would take the boys skiing at Big Boulder, a ski resort in Pennsylvania. We would go up for almost a week with the O’Connor clan and some of the families from Floral Park, and stay in a beautiful lodge and the kids would ski from morn till night.

The first year we went, we bought the boys and ourselves the required “ski paraphernalia” of which, trust me, there is quite an array. You need your ski pants, ski jacket, ski mask, ski hat, ski goggles, ski boots, ski gloves, and Chapstick. We took the family to a discount ski shop out on Long Island to procure everything. I wound up buying a lovely teal blue ski jacket with matching hat, earmuffs and gloves and finished the look with black ski pants. I really looked adorable!

Ski slopes are very slippery, as I quickly came to surmise, with skiers swooshing by every second. I needed an instructor…someone who could show me how to get my ski boots clamped to the skis and how to get down a summit without breaking a leg.

The mentor was very nice (although after working with me, I suspect he packed up his poles the next day, moved to Hawaii, and began teaching Surf Boarding 101!) After much struggling, my skis were finally on the bottom of my feet and I found my gloved fingers hanging on for dear life to a tow rope, which was dragging me to the top of this enormously large, treacherously slippery, dauntingly steep precipice, known as…The Bunny Slope. It isn’t easy holding on to a rope while you are carrying huge poles in either hand, your goggles are fogging up and your feet are taking on a life of their own as they vee out while you ascend to the top.

The instructor positioned me at the top of the slope, straightened my skis so they were both going in a downward direction and gave me a tiny push. I had ear muffs on, but still, I thought I heard him snicker “Rots of Ruck” as I started my descent, but I could be wrong.

Wow…look at me. I’m swooshing down the slope with everyone else. Okay, everyone else is yelling “Get out of the waaaaay” as they whoosh past me, but I’m still upright and doing rather well…when suddenly I start to accelerate…and now I’M screaming “Get out of the waaaaay” as I am now literally barreling down the slope. My instructor was there to greet me at the bottom. Okay, he had to leap out of the way as I whizzed past him, but still…

He strolls over to me, takes my ski poles away and says “Now I want you to go down without the poles”. WHAT??? This guy has got to be kidding and I’m beginning to suspect it’s not Evian water in that bottle he keeps slurping. I can barely stand with the skis on…no less actually ski with them. The poles are my lifeline…what I need to keep me in the upright position…what I find useful to plunge into the snow when I am accelerating at an alarmingly fast rate….what I fantasize I could use to skewer my instructor to a snow bank if he keeps making outlandish suggestions. But alas, take away my poles he did, and I found myself clinging to the tow rope once again. I’m back on the mountain, making my descent sans poles when…uh oh.. I realize that falling is imminent. I decide that I’m not going to make a fool of myself…sprawling like a beached whale with skis askew in midair and my head stuck in the snow…so I gently tumble backwards, sit on my tuckus, carefully unsnap my skis from my boots and proceed to sashay down the rest of the slope.

The instructor greets me once again at the bottom, grateful that he didn’t have to dive out of my way this time, and says “You need to go down once more before I can promote you to the big mountain.” I glanced over to that mountain in the distance as it stood proudly like Mt. Everest with a ski lift at its side that ferried happy skiers to and fro. Given my fear of height, discovering myself perched in a ski chair that hovered several hundred feet in mid air was probably not ever going to happen. My instructor broke my reverie and said “Meet me at seven pm, after dinner on the Bunny Slope for the last run. ” I said “Absolutely. I’ll be there. This is so much fun. You can count on me. See you then. Can’t wait!!”  I walked off, handed my skis and poles to Allan and said “My skiing days are over. Turn in everything…stick the fork in…I’m done!!!

And so for the rest of that vacation (and subsequent ones after that), I passed the time sauntering around the ski lodge, lounging in front of the roaring fire and sipping hot cocoa in my really cute teal blue ski outfit. According to Glamour magazine, I was on the cutting edge even way back then.

The Voices in My Head

Every woman has her skinny jeans. We pull them from the recesses of our closets, suck in our tummies to tug them on and then, if Jupiter has aligned with Mars, we punch our fists in the air and scream “Yes, they still fit!”

I made a ton of desserts around the holidays, and except for the ones I served to family and friends, I consumed a vast number.  Will my skinny jeans be relegated back to the recesses of my closet?

I still have some of the cookies frozen, and every time I open the freezer drawer, a little voice in my head I like to call “Thinner” would caution me “Don’t pop that rum ball into your mouth. You’ll be wearing it on your thighs for the next 5 months”. But “Winner” her nemesis would rationally say “You only make these at Christmas.  Enjoy!! ” Suffice it to say, “Winner” always won.  I mean seriously, they’re rum balls!!!!

I’ve been exercising as of late with wonderful classes given by a resident of our community via Zoom.  “Thinner” is ecstatic. “You won’t be having to closet your skinny jeans after all,” she chirped.

I attended Tuesday’s class, but unfortunately “Winner” triumphed on Thursday. The day dawned cloudy and chilly and she murmured in my ear “So many things to do. Pour yourself another cup of coffee and do the crossword puzzle instead.” And I did. And I surrendered to her the next few mornings the class was offered as well.

Some would say hoping to continue to wear my skinny jeans is the least of my problems. Hearing voices in my head probably should take precedent. Fortunately, I’m told, straight jackets come in One Size Fits All.

Antarctica ~ Home Again

We left our beautiful cruise ship early in the morning, and boarded a bus to take us to the airport for our flight to Buenos Aires. Our carry-on luggage was stowed in the lower part of the bus, we found our seats, buckled up, and relaxed. And then…we all had to get off. They inadvertently put us on the wrong bus. So we got our luggage back and walked over to another bus. Our carry-on luggage was stowed in the lower part of the new bus, we found our seats, buckled up, and relaxed. Until…the agent called Allan’s and my names, along with another lady’s, and said that we were again on the wrong bus.

We boarded a third bus, our carry-on luggage was stowed in the lower part of the bus, we found our seats, buckled up, and tentatively relaxed, and finally…no more playing musical buses; we arrived at the Ushuaia airport. However, once there, we were told that because many flights were delayed coming into Buenos Aires, our flight going from Buenos Aires to Santiago, might not happen, since there might not be enough planes. Yikes…if that happened, we’d miss all our connecting flights.

Buenos Aires was featuring 90+ degree weather, and we had to walk outside in the blazing heat, dragging our luggage, from one terminal to the next. We staggered into the departure terminal, sweat running down our necks, and were assigned a Viking agent to help us find a flight that we could take, since our original flight was no longer available. The agent was on the phone with Viking for quite some time, and we were melting from the heat. The airport wasn’t air conditioned very well.

Suddenly…the agent got excited and said, “I found a flight leaving actually NOW! Take the stairs, go through security, and make that flight!” We flew up two flights of stairs, dragging our carry-on and knapsacks, only to be asked by the security agent after she checked our passports…”Where are your boarding passes?” We said we don’t have them. Even though we are quite cute and often engage in scintillating conversation, she of course would not let us through…but suddenly, another agent who had hiked up the stairs after us, waved our boarding passes in the air and passed them over to us. They had printed boarding passes immediately for us when they knew we’d make the flight.

We ran to the plane, because they were holding it for us, but the folks who had already boarded, were not happy campers waiting for us to arrive. It was terribly hot on the tarmac, and they just wanted to get in the air. They didn’t think we were cute, and they weren’t in the mood for scintillating conversation.

We arrived in Santiago and then had to find our flight to Atlanta. All was going well, until we went again through security. We had to put our thumb on the pad for the fingerprint recognition. I think the agent thought I was affiliated with the mafia and had my fingerprints removed at some point, because my fingerprint would not process. She held my thumb down, she rubbed alcohol on it, she tried another finger, she tried my other hand, and it just didn’t work. I tried some scintillating conversation, but she didn’t buy it. (Note: Most security agents are NOT in the mood for frivolity.) She sent us to another agent and that agent had the same trouble, but finally…my thumbprint showed up and we were allowed on the plane.

The rest of the journey went well, and we are now back home safe and sound.

I know you all have been waiting for the answers to the questions I posed before we embarked on our journey, so here they are:

  1. The Drake Passage was not the lake, but it wasn’t the shake either.
  2. My seasickness patch worked great!
  3. We saw the green buttons in the submarine, but the pilot neglected to mention anything about them. Fortunately, he did not lose consciousness during the dive.
  4. I never lost my phone or camera in the water, so I don’t know if they would have kept afloat.
  5. From the smell and from everything we saw on the ground, I’d say penguins poop probably every minute. LOL!
  6. Capilene long johns keep you toasty warm.
  7. No one mentioned any vineyards, and we didn’t see any, but we had enough wine on the ship to make up for not visiting an Antarctic winery.
  8. The Drake was about the same going as coming back.
  9. The rocks at one shore were extremely slippery, but my orthopedist will not have to perform any heroic measures on me, as I made it to shore without breaking my hip.
  10. The answer to “is wombat poop really square” will have to be answered on a voyage to a different continent.

I hope you all enjoyed my journey. Please keep checking into the blog, as I will be posting in Pookie’s Posts…With a Touch of Humor as often as I can, and I will be posting in late March in Irene and Allan’s Travel Adventures when we journey to Japan.

See ya!

Ushuaia
Our Voyage

Antarctica ~ Cape Horn

Cape Horn is located in Chile’s Tierra del Fuego archipelago. It is off the tip of South America where the Pacific and Atlantic oceans meet. There is an albatross-shaped monument there, that memorializes the seafarers who lost their lives trying to round the Horn. Not only do two oceans converge, but the high winds also make the waters treacherous. Our crossing was very windy, but the waters were pretty calm, and it was exciting to go around the Horn, which is apparently on many travelers’ bucket lists.
Once again, the day has dawned sunny, with blue skies. Our last day on the ship will be spent relaxing and visiting with our new friends throughout the day. We have been so lucky on this voyage – great weather, great Drake passage, (considering how bad it could have been), Cape Horn not too bad, and meeting wonderful people who we will remain in contact with and perhaps travel with in the future.

We attended two lectures this afternoon and then met our friends for drinks and dinner. We said goodbye to all the wonderful crew that we’ve met this week, who made our expedition cruise the amazing one it was. And then we said goodbye and safe travels to our new friends. We are hopefully planning to travel with them again.

Antarctica ~ The Drake Passage Again

“And the purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt

That pretty much sums up my thoughts on the Drake. Taste the experience to the limit, reach out and eagerly embrace it to the fullest, and do it all without fear!

Easier said than done! We didn’t have a choice as to whether or not we’d traverse the Drake for the second time, tasting and embracing it so to speak, so it did become the intrepid journey that we bravely faced to the utmost. Fortunately, the ride wasn’t exactly the Drake Shake, but neither was it the Drake Lake. It was something in-between, with fairly rough waters and much rocking of our ship. Our seasickness patches worked wonders, (the person that invented them should be sainted), and we were able to watch the rolling waves break into the side of the ship from the comfort of our cabin. Some of those waves, I must admit, were pretty formidable. (Which is code for “terrifying”.)

And sadly, because of the waves, the polar plunge that was scheduled for 10 am, had to be postponed till tomorrow. Allan and I of course, were very disappointed. (Good Lord…NOT! That experience would have ranked right up there with root canal for us, so that’s a gigantic – Never in a million years!!!)

Room service came with our breakfast, which was fabulous, as we didn’t have to careen through the halls from side to side to get to the restaurant.

We eventually did venture to the upper deck, so we could read for awhile. Yikes!!! The upper deck was really rocking and rolling. It gave us roller coaster thrills by the minute, as well as the realization of what it must be like to ride a mechanical bull, but we were able to endure whatever the sea belched our way. Again, thank you scopolamine!

It is another bright and sunny day. We are so lucky, as having so many days rain-free during this cruise has not been experienced in a very long time.

They were handing out Margaritas when we went in for lunch. They were delicious and one of our favorite waiters offered me a second one, which I graciously accepted. I figured, everyone is trying to stay upright as they walk given the waves, so if I’m a little tipsy, no one will be the wiser.

By afternoon, the waves got even fiercer and walking around was a bit tricky. We made our way to the Aula Theater for the Captain’s farewell address, walking carefully thru the hallways.

The farewell was wonderful, as all of the crew were introduced, primarily the ones we never see, like those who do the laundry and the dishwashing. The crew here – amazing. Always happy, helpful, and fun to be with. We will miss them. They played Tina Turner’s Simply the Best as the crew went up on the stage. And they are!

We had drinks with friends and then off to dinner. I had delicious lamb chops and finished the meal with a limoncello. Tomorrow is our last day on our polar adventure.

The swells weren’t too bad
Breakfast was delivered
Clear skies…but rough waters
Getting a tad rougher
Our amazing crew

Antarctica ~ Elephant Island

Before I talk about our day, I did want to mention that the artwork around the Octantis is absolutely beautiful and very educational. You could spend a day looking at the collections of artifacts, photographs, paintings, and textiles that are featured on every deck. There are also many TVs around, featuring tidbits of info as well as quotes by famous people. I love reading the quotes. One quote I can relate to, is by Susan Sontag…”I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”

We are at Elephant Island and the first thing we noticed – there’s no snow! We had a nice morning and after lunch we went for a walk around the decks. Another beautifully sunny day, with mild temps.

The mild temps lasted, but the sun went in just as we were ready to embark on our final zodiac ride to the shore. The rides were postponed by a half hour as the tides were changing and the waters were quite rough.

We made our way down to the launching deck, and an announcement came over the loud speakers that they were searching for another place to embark onto the shore because of the waters. So after a 20 minute wait, we finally made our way to the zodiac, which was bouncing up and down in the water from the rough sea.

This was by far the most terrifying zodiac ride ever. The waves were high and the zodiac kept going up and down as well as to and fro. Almost all of us slid into the zodiac like beached whales and then carefully made our way to our seats. The ride to the shore was also scary… Water spraying on us, as we bounced up and down the whole way, holding onto the ropes for dear life. One of our friends on the zodiac after us was injured as he got on, sliding into the stepstool and had to go to medical. 😳

When we arrived at the shore, we had to disembark in calf height water and walk over extremely slippery rocks. Thankfully, there were many guides extending hands, clutching us as we walked to shore.

But it was worth it. Seeing the fur seals, the penguins, and the elephant seals was amazing. We walked the beach and then waited for our return zodiac. While walking the beach, we were cautioned to be careful where we stepped, so we did not step on any of the green vegetation that was all around.

Before we boarded our return zodiac, we had to rub the bottom of our boots back and forth in the sand and then rinse them in the water. Even doing that, some of us still had seaweed attached to our boots. The bottoms of our snow pants were soaked, but our socks remained dry.

Thankfully, the waters had calmed a bit and the ride back wasn’t as bad. Halfway to our ship, however, we were stopped by another zodiac, and we thought there was something wrong as we pulled alongside. They tied both zodiacs together, and then passed out champagne glasses so we could toast to our very last zodiac ride in Antarctica. Such a wonderful surprise.

We had a bit of difficulty again, going from the zodiac to the ship, but all was okay and we quickly changed and met our friends for a quick drink and then on to dinner.

The maitre d’ at dinner told us the Drake tonight and tomorrow will probably have waves about 4 meters high…rougher than our first crossing, but we are prepared. Green apples, ginger ale, crackers, seasickness patches, and ginger chews. We were also told to put our water jugs and glasses in the wastecan, so they don’t roll off the countertops.

We ordered room service for breakfast for tomorrow, just in case it’s too risky to traverse the halls to get to the restaurant.

As Bette Davis once said…”Hang on tight. It’s going to be a bumpy night!”

Champagne toast
Our ship in the distance
The seals are sleeping
March of the penguins

Antarctica ~ Mikkelsen Harbor – D’Hainaut Island

During the night, we had a few hours of rough seas. We were speaking with a crew member this evening, who told us that in the kitchen last night, there was a disaster. Caramel fell off a shelf and spread all over the floor. What a mess! He also told us that back in December, the Drake passage was so bad that glassware and plates tumbled off of tables and shelves throughout the ship, and broke in smithereens. Fingers crossed we won’t experience that on our way home.

This morning I had some congee for breakfast. It had chicken and sliced ginger in it, and it was delicious. I first found out about congee when I was in China. I didn’t know what it was, and thought it was just a porridge like oatmeal. And so, I added some yogurt to it, much to my friend Chi’s horror. He showed me the proper way to enjoy congee – by adding some pickled delicacies. Chi, if you are reading my blog, I did you proud by not adding any dairy products to the congee and it was delicious!

D’Hainaut Island is a tiny rock island in Mikkelsen Harbor. It was first discovered around 1910. The island was used extensively for whaling, and there is also a small historic refuge there that was built originally by the Argentine Navy in the 1950s, then again in the 1970s, and most recently in 2017. However, the refuge can’t be entered except in emergencies.

There is also plenty of evidence of the whaling industry on the island. Whale bones are scattered all over and you can find the wrecks of several boats as well. There is a huge Gentoo penguin colony there, and we also saw many fur seals basking in the sun.
The snow was turning to slush with the sun, so climbing the mountain was very easy. We arrived at the rookery and saw some baby chicks with their parents standing guard. Some of the penguins have begun their molting. Penguins are very noisy and most of their bleating is to either search for their mate, or to search for their chicks.

It was an amazing excursion and we were so excited to see so much wildlife in one spot.

When we were ready to board the zodiac for the cruise back to the ship, we had to walk in the water and shuffle our feet back and forth on the rocks. Then, they took a scrub brush and scrubbed our boots to get all of the mud and penguin poop off. Once back onboard our ship, we walked thru the disinfecting solution while brushes scrubbed our boots again.

And what a day!!! Sunny, mild, and no wind. The crew keeps saying we brought the most wonderful weather with us, the likes of which has not been seen with recent voyages.

We’ve learned so much about icebergs over the past few days, and if you are interested in learning about them as well, I refer you to the website Oceanside Expeditions. It has an in-depth and very interesting discussion about Antarctic icebergs.

We have become friends with many of the crew and they know us by name and always stop to talk with us. Allan overheard one passenger say, after some crew members chatted with us, “How do those two know so many crew members??” Easy! We enjoy speaking with them and learning their background and where they come from.

We met old friends and new friends for a pre-dinner cocktail, and then we all went to dinner together. So much fun! Lots of laughs! And we were entertained by a pod of whales that swam along with our ship.

Dinner with our friends
rookery
The scenery is so beautiful
Love this photo. Serenity.
Fur seals
Whale bones
Sunset. One of the crew said they haven’t seen a sunset in three months. How lucky we are!!!