Water, Water Everywhere, but Not a Drop to Drink!

After breakfast, Allan and I walked our mile plus and he went for a coffee and I decided to do water aerobics. I first basked in the sun for a bit and then tested the pool water with my toe.  OMG…freezing!  Probably since we had the tropical storm yesterday (yes…I’m calling it that), the pool water was filled with rain and since the pool is heated by the sun and the sun was AWOL yesterday, the water was freezing. 

I picked up the webbed hands gloves and figured, what the heck, and gingerly made my way down the steps into the ice bath. Finally I said, forget it, and just plunged myself in. 

Usually once in, you warm up quickly, but not so. It was cold!  

The instructor came and was surprised to see that there were quite a few of us who had braved the cold water. She wasn’t even in her bathing suit because I think she figured no one would show up. We all shamed her into changing into her suit, and she came back and finally got into the water herself. 

It was a good workout and afterwards we had a drink and then met Dick and Sharon for pizza. Most everything here definitely works on Island time as the pizza place, which should open at noon, didn’t even have the ovens turned on. We all had another drink and eventually our pizzas were ready. The pizzas were delicious, and realistically, where were we in a hurry to get to anyway?  

We went back to our rooms and dressed for our Catamaran Sunset Cruise, a cruise we took four years ago which was wonderful. Since we knew we’d be on the open water, Sharon and I had on capri pants.  I brought a light jacket as well. 

It took about 45 minutes in the tour bus for the driver to take 12 of us to the beach where we would board our catamaran. It was interesting seeing the houses and the sights along the way. 

When we arrived, they told us to take our socks and shoes off since it would be a wet boarding of the catamaran. Say what now???????  That was NOT how it happened the last time. We boarded the catamaran from a dock last time. 

So we made our way through the surf which was very choppy and we had to take a huge step to get on the first rung of the staircase, which was partially submerged in water. The waves were coming in fast and we all got soaked all the way to our thighs. Oof!!!!  There is nothing I hate more than sitting in a wet bathing suit…but sitting in totally wet pants definitely tops it!  

The drinks were plentiful and you could have as much as your wanted, which was evident an hour or so later as many of the guests were happily drunk. 

We were supposed to get finger food. But  that consisted of two tiny pieces of cheese and a grape on a toothpick, and a very small tuna “wrap” that was about an inch by two inches. They came around once with those meager offerings. Then they offered a small piece of what looked like Sara Lee cake. 

The crew was fun and we had a good time with them, and sunset was lovely. After sunset, the captain booked to get back to shore and he went so fast that the water was spraying all over us as it swelled up and over the deck. Now our shirts are pretty wet as well as our pants. 

In getting off the catamaran…the last step caused us all to get soaked once again since it was at least two feet into the surf until we would touch sand with our feet. This time, when’s wave came in, we got soaked all the way to past our crotches. We had to walk barefoot to find our bus and driver and finally found him, boarded our bus again for the 45 min drive back to the resort, our feet filled with sand and our pants sopping wet. 

The cost of the cruise was $170 a couple, plus another $20 per person for the bus driver. Not worth the money. I told Sharon and Dick we should have picked up a few nice bottles of wine and sat on the beach at the resort and watched the sunset there. It certainly would have been drier!!

We were very disappointed and plan to complain tomorrow that this definitely was not a good experience!  

We all took hot showers to warm up and get the salt off of our bodies, and then had a nice Caribbean dinner at the main restaurant. We went for drinks afterwards to reminisce about our adventure. Between the tropical storm getting us soaked and this cruise, I’ve had enough water experiences to last for the rest of the vacay. 😂

Sun and fun

Breakfast this morning had a lot of great choices. I had poached eggs over spinach and a kind of corned beef hash. Delicious. Yesterday at breakfast, i sampled the national dish of Antigua called fungee. It’s made from cornmeal and it had a nice subtle flavor.

Allan and I walked a mile through the resort and then I had water aerobics and Allan went to the gym to work out.

We ate lunch at Sails and Tails and our favorite bartender mixed Allan an extra dry vodka martini and I had a mojito. Lunch was unbelievably delicious. We started with spring rolls and Allan had a huge juicy burger with fries and I had three fish tacos with crunchy battered fish. A little kitten came to visit us while we were dining (the restaurant is open air with a roof above) and I fed it some of my fish and the little one gobbled the morsels down. I suspect the little one gets fed quite frequently by the patrons.

We spent a leisurely afternoon and then Sharon and Dick and Allan and I headed over to the Wavy Wicket for some drinks before dinner at Sails and Tails.

The dinner at Sails and Tails was excellent. I had bruschetta and Allan had Caesar salad with chicken for appetizers. He had steak with shrimp and I had tuna with veggies and coconut rice. Allan finished the meal with bread pudding. It was all very good. 😌

We walked to the main pool and sat for awhile and had an after dinner drink and then it was to bed at 11:45. Tomorrow will be a rain for most of the day so we’ll just hang out.

Antigua

We’re having a wonderful time on this beautiful island, vacationing with our good friends Sharon and Dick. The four of us took a cab from the airport and were greeted at Verandah Resort with a rum punch and a nice cool towel to freshen up with. We checked in and were driven to our cottage that will be home for the next 10 days.

Our cottage is spacious and our view from our veranda is gorgeous. Our cottage is next door to Sharon and Dick’s. We have a huge walk-in shower, and a king sized bed that is very comfortable, and we are within walking distance to most of the amenities at the resort.

Since we were here before with our friends Sharon and Dick, we know the layout of the land. The resort has changed from a family resort to adult only, added new restaurants, spruced up the pools, and extended one of the beaches.

Sipping mojitos, sunning at the pool, enjoying pizza, and listening to Island music has been wonderful. The staff are very friendly and helpful, although they do work on island time so, there is no rush and sometimes you have to wait for service.

I’ve been to a pool aerobics class. Pool aerobics was a good workout and afterwards the instructor had us join hands and form a circle, and she asked every other person to float, while the rest pulled the floaters around in a circle. Then after a minute of reflection and calm for the floaters, we switched and the floaters took a turn pulling the others around the circle for another minute. Great relaxing way to start the day. (Except the guy next to me really wasn’t too great at floating and he kept gripping my wrist and pulling on it while I pulled him along. Not very relaxing for me… so I finally gently pulled his death grip off my wrist and said…” Maybe floating isn’t for you!” Mental note: Don’t stand next to this guy again during circle time!!)

Dinner last night was Italian at the main restaurant which is buffet style. It is also the same place we go to for breakfast each morning. The dinner was excellent, especially the meatballs. Our only complaint is that the food could be served a tad hotter. Breakfast in the morning is plentiful – cereals, waffles, pancakes, an omelet station, an assortment of breads, meats and cheeses, and coffee and juices. Of course you can also have a liquor drink as well.

Our waitress the other night told us that she works two jobs each day as the cost of living is high with a 17% sales tax on everything you purchase. Tipping at the resort is not expected and is actually included in the price of your stay, but the four of us tip the staff with cash periodically, and they truly appreciate it.

Tonight we all go to Sails and Tails restaurant at the resort for dinner. You have to make reservations a few days ahead for the specialty restaurants. There is no extra charge, except for Nicole’s, another specialty restaurant at the resort, that has a $40 up charge.

Being with our friends Sharon and Dick has been so much fun. Lots of laughing, story telling, and just wonderful being together.

We have dinner reservations made for the week, a sunset cruise scheduled, and today we will go to guest relations with our friends to schedule some more activities for the rest of our stay.

View from our veranda and the personal pizza we enjoyed for lunch.

Bring on the Beans!

When we lived in North Carolina, we would attend “Dessert with the Doc” seminars, given by local doctors on a wide range of medical topics. One time, the topic was “Your Poo and You.” Honestly, the doctor that gave the seminar could have been a stand up comedian. But then again, the subject matter was pretty conducive to jokes.

We laughed our way through some of the highlights of the topics he addressed: “hanging chads”, “the Hershey squirts”, “racing stripes in the toilet” and “floaters vs sinkers”.

And he could hardly keep a straight face, during the question and answer period, when a lady in the audience confessed she was plagued with gas whenever she flew in an airplane and questioned the doc about what she should do about it.

“Encourage fellow travelers not to sit near you would be my first advice,” he said barely able to get out the words. And then he offered another pearl of wisdom.

“There is a new product on the market,” he sputtered. “They’re called…” (stopping to wipe the tears from his eyes from his laughter ) “Farty Pants,” he finally blurted out.

It seems that people who have a flatulence problem need not be embarrassed anymore. They can buy  Farty Pants, underpants that have a charcoal liner embedded in the crotch that renders harmless the noxious gases emanating from a person’s bowels. And no one is the wiser except the wearer.

The underwear makers swear they work…and the liners last for a few weeks. They are washable…but the company advises that the occupant not use them in a hot tub or swimming pool. (Personally, I think someone who has this problem shouldn’t be in a hot tub or a swimming pool in the first place. The bubbles could give them away!)

After the hour of laughter, we were asked to write down our thoughts and comments on the doctor’s presentation and how effectively he gave enlightenment on the subject.

I wrote “He was POOsitively wonderful!!!”

“NO!!!!! I WON’T GO BACK IN THE BOX!!”

We were putting away all of the decorations from Christmas when suddenly…we heard a loud crash.

It seems that Pedro the Christmas turkey, (who does a nice rendition of Feliz Navidad), distraught that Christmas was over, flung himself from the shelf where he was perched all through the holidays, and had a temper tantrum.

I won’t go back in the box!
I’m not listening!

I SAID NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Well, alright.  But only if I can take some leftover candy canes with me.  And some rum balls.
And that cute little angel on the top of the tree.

You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

AWESOMENESS

The word “awesomeness”, which isn’t a word according to the dictionary, absolutely should be.

The word does appear in the Urban Dictionary…and let’s not forget, I did come from Queens, NY so that’s probably where I picked it up. Those streets in South Ozone Park can be rough and some of the language…whoa!!

Anyway, it might not be a bona fide word according to Merriam-Webster, but I think it should be. The awesomeness of a sunset….the awesomeness of witnessing a birth….the awesomeness of my kids and grandkids….the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon…the awesomeness of God.

New words are being added to the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary as I type this. So one has to ask… how DOES a new word get into the dictionary? The answer is simple: USAGE! Apparently the editors of the dictionary read all kinds of publications – books, magazines, news articles – searching for contemporary words. Once a potential word is found, it is stored in the computer system as a “citation”. The word makes the jump from the citation area to the dictionary by having enough citations to show it is widely used. According to John Morse, president of the Springfield, Massachusetts based dictionary publisher, “A word has to be more than a flash-in-the-pan. It has to have staying power”.

This year, some new words that made it to Merriam-Webster so far this year are magnetic fishing, dawn chorus, sponcon, yeet, yanky, and adorkable (awwww…).

So here’s the deal. Start using the word “awesomeness” in your everyday interactions with people. Maybe in the year 2030 it will make it to the pages of the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.

And in actuality, “awesomeness” is used in an article by Umair Hague from Harvard Business Publishing, a subsidiary of Harvard University, entitled “The Awesomeness Manifesto” written September 16, 2009. If I didn’t know any better, I would have guessed that Mr. Hague was referring to my blog!!

Topless in Asheville

The women from Gotopless.org decided that men shouldn’t be the only ones allowed to strut their bare chests and have all the fun.  So they staged a nationwide demonstration a few years ago for the right to go topless….and their bosom buddies from Asheville, North Carolina were right there joining the protest and proudly baring their breasts.  “It isn’t against the law in North Carolina for women to walk around topless since the law only bans indecent exposure from the waist down,” said Wally Welch, a spokesperson for the Asheville police.

Livienne Love (really???? Livienne Love???), the local protest organizer was quoted as saying, “We just want to raise awareness about this inequality”.

The event planning committee, however, didn’t take into account that the Gateway Christian Community Church would be holding their Sunday services at the same time the topless demonstration was to take place.  “They’ll be some distance apart,” said Jon Fillman, the city’s outdoor special events coordinator.  And a spokesperson from the church added that if necessary, “they’ll completely turn their event so they’re facing the other direction.”

Wouldn’t it be a hooter (pun intended) if the Bible reading today was from Psalms 119…”Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things…”  And, if it wasn’t, you can bet your sweet cupcakes those Christian men were on their knees praying it!!

Sorry…Wrong Number

Today the phone rang and my caller ID said “Dr. Chuck Noonan”.  I don’t know any doctor named Chuck Noonan, but since I had just been for some routine lab tests, I answered, thinking it might be someone from the lab.

I picked up the phone and a cheerful voice announced “Dr. Chuck Noonan calling!”

When I didn’t answer right away he went on to say…”Uh..the veterinarian!”

It is always tempting to mess with a wrong number caller and say something rather glib…but I never do.

I should have said, “Are you located next door to the taxidermist?  Because either way…I’d get my parrot back!”

I’m just saying…