Toad Suck Daze or The Kentucky Derby

Irene

Forget the Kentucky Derby where horses thunder down a track in pursuit of the finish line and where ladies in magnificent millinery drink mint juleps and cheer their steed on. We need to focus on the Toad Suck races where toads are leapfrogging down a track in hot pursuit of the prize and ladies are wearing baseball caps and scarfing down root beers.

Toad Suck Daze takes place in Conway, Arkansas this weekend as it has for years. It’s a festival highlighting family fun with lots of good food, arts and crafts, dancing, entertainment and of course toad racing. The festival’s primary focus is to raise money for scholarships.

The origin Toad Suck, according to Wikipedia is “that long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River when the water was at the right depth. When it wasn’t, the captains and their crew tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock & Dam now spans the river near Conway. While they waited, they refreshed themselves at the local tavern. The dismayed folks living nearby were heard to say: ‘They suck on the bottle ’til they swell up like toads.’ Hence, the name Toad Suck. The tavern is long gone, but the legend lives on at Toad Suck Daze.”

One newscaster was quoted as saying “By the way, don’t say the ‘f word’ if you are in Conway around time for the festival . . . frog that is.” Apparently, they take the differentiation between toads and frogs seriously in Arkansas and you’d better be sure of the amphibian that you are putting on the starting line when the race begins.

There are strict rules for the race ( which takes place on an 8 foot course) the first being as mentioned above, NO FROGS…ONLY TOADS. The other rules are as follows:

    • The toad cannot be prodded, pushed or shoved.
    • Toads may not be thrown, or otherwise propelled other than by their own power, over the finish line.
  • You may touch your toad only to place it back in its lane once it has jumped out of bounds.

So forget whether a racehorse at 50 to 1 odds is going to take the purse at the Derby. My money’s on Toadie the Croaker to capture the blue ribbon in Conway. The excitement I’m sure will be palpable.

The only question I have is… does “toad suck” have the same connotation as “suck face” and if so, how many princes have emerged from Toad Suck Daze Weekend over the years?