I was in the doctor’s office the other day, reading Glamour Magazine and I came across an article entitled “Hey…It’s OK To Try A Sport Just For the Cute Gear!”

WOW! I totally agree…and I actually put it into practice many years ago when we would take the boys skiing at Big Boulder, a ski resort in Pennsylvania. We would go up for almost a week with the O’Connor clan and some of the families from Floral Park, and stay in a beautiful lodge and the kids would ski from morn till night.

The first year we went, we bought the boys and ourselves the required “ski paraphernalia” of which, trust me, there is quite an array. You need your ski pants, ski jacket, ski mask, ski hat, ski goggles, ski boots, ski gloves, and Chapstick. We took the family to a discount ski shop out on Long Island to procure everything. I wound up buying a lovely teal blue ski jacket with matching hat, earmuffs and gloves and finished the look with black ski pants. I really looked adorable!

Ski slopes are very slippery, as I quickly came to surmise, with skiers swooshing by every second. I needed an instructor…someone who could show me how to get my ski boots clamped to the skis and how to get down a summit without breaking a leg.

The mentor was very nice (although after working with me, I suspect he packed up his poles the next day, moved to Hawaii, and began teaching Surf Boarding 101!) After much struggling, my skis were finally on the bottom of my feet and I found my gloved fingers hanging on for dear life to a tow rope, which was dragging me to the top of this enormously large, treacherously slippery, dauntingly steep precipice, known as…The Bunny Slope. It isn’t easy holding on to a rope while you are carrying huge poles in either hand, your goggles are fogging up and your feet are taking on a life of their own as they vee out while you ascend to the top.

The instructor positioned me at the top of the slope, straightened my skis so they were both going in a downward direction and gave me a tiny push. I had ear muffs on, but still, I thought I heard him snicker “Rots of Ruck” as I started my descent, but I could be wrong.

Wow…look at me. I’m swooshing down the slope with everyone else. Okay, everyone else is yelling “Get out of the waaaaay” as they whoosh past me, but I’m still upright and doing rather well…when suddenly I start to accelerate…and now I’M screaming “Get out of the waaaaay” as I am now literally barreling down the slope. My instructor was there to greet me at the bottom. Okay, he had to leap out of the way as I whizzed past him, but still…

He strolls over to me, takes my ski poles away and says “Now I want you to go down without the poles”. WHAT??? This guy has got to be kidding and I’m beginning to suspect it’s not Evian water in that bottle he keeps slurping. I can barely stand with the skis on…no less actually ski with them. The poles are my lifeline…what I need to keep me in the upright position…what I find useful to plunge into the snow when I am accelerating at an alarmingly fast rate….what I fantasize I could use to skewer my instructor to a snow bank if he keeps making outlandish suggestions. But alas, take away my poles he did, and I found myself clinging to the tow rope once again. I’m back on the mountain, making my descent sans poles when…uh oh.. I realize that falling is imminent. I decide that I’m not going to make a fool of myself…sprawling like a beached whale with skis askew in midair and my head stuck in the snow…so I gently tumble backwards, sit on my tuckus, carefully unsnap my skis from my boots and proceed to sashay down the rest of the slope.

The instructor greets me once again at the bottom, grateful that he didn’t have to dive out of my way this time, and says “You need to go down once more before I can promote you to the big mountain.” I glanced over to that mountain in the distance as it stood proudly like Mt. Everest with a ski lift at its side that ferried happy skiers to and fro. Given my fear of height, discovering myself perched in a ski chair that hovered several hundred feet in mid air was probably not ever going to happen. My instructor broke my reverie and said “Meet me at seven pm, after dinner on the Bunny Slope for the last run. ” I said “Absolutely. I’ll be there. This is so much fun. You can count on me. See you then. Can’t wait!!”  I walked off, handed my skis and poles to Allan and said “My skiing days are over. Turn in everything…stick the fork in…I’m done!!!

And so for the rest of that vacation (and subsequent ones after that), I passed the time sauntering around the ski lodge, lounging in front of the roaring fire and sipping hot cocoa in my really cute teal blue ski outfit. According to Glamour magazine, I was on the cutting edge even way back then.